community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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