Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
