Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
