I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This is my gift to your gina
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
