So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
