im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think i have two assholes
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
