There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Where is the hickey?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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