trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
