i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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