So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
