dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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