her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
