I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
