HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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