I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
