maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
