Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
