oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
