So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How does one acquire holy water?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
