we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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