Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
