he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
