our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You may now shotgun with the bride
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
