sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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