I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
