the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
