I looked at my own cervix.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize