i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
