It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize