Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
