of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
