I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
