I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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