Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh god it's open bar.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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