Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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