I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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