i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
