So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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