the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
