That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
