She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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