My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
