I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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