Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
