Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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