was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
