So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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