No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
