Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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