its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize