I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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