But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
