They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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