Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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