if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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