if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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