I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
