cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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