I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
