trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
