I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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