Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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