U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
