I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
