So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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