Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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