I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
two words...techno handjob
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
