I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
