This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
