You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
