my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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