when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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