i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
