no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
