Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
two words...techno handjob
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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